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Bizzo

Actual Malt Liquor

Gentlemen! BEHOLD!

I present the Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA. A pale ale that clocks in at 20% alcohol, and costs about a dollar an ounce.

It tastes like caramel that rapes you. It tastes like honey from the loins of an angry god.

And as soon as I find stable, lasting employment ... I want more.

v_2_category: 

YouTube of the Week: Vital Information.

 

'Ruit still correlates with vomiting, bankruptcy, shame, and sudden, violent bleeding from the skull. ... but not herpies!

YouTube of the Week: Instant classics

This speaks for itself. 

As long as we're bringing up old debts

I'd like to point out that Dutch still owes me

"a blown up screenshot of an infected madagascar with two honkin big tits and a sign that said 'free tshirt'"

For the record.

Buffalo: Future Site of the Ragnarok

Because between Westburo and Muzzammil, I may have to kill a bitch.

And between them, I remember where I used to skin my knee rollerblading. At some weird nexus between an old Catholic campus and THE radical Muslim neighborhood.

Durka durka.

That's exactly the kind of leper I'd fuck.

Seriously, why have I never heard of this.

Amazon Marketplace search time.

YouTube of the Week: Breakfast of Champions

Because I responded to Dutch in an e-mail. And can't believe I haven't used this in a post yet.

Choose Your Own Devil

~

The news today gives me an opportunity to respond to ditriech's comment from a few weeks ago. Where he wondered why I didn't show more respect to the arguments for a cause of Autism, and what this did to families of Autistics. Well here's why: families of Autistics are one of the most manipulated groups of our time. And a minority of them have taken the bait of their manipulators and become the most threatening anti-science crusaders this side of the Creationists. And the dumbest celebrity fad not involving L. Ron Hubbard.


It's all fun and games until I give your kids Polio.

The thing about Autism is, we don't know what causes it. It's unsolved and incurable right now. That makes it a Gap where you can put a God. A big, deep gap, since it destroys lives and motivates families to try almost any promised cure. Using illness as a con is ... human. Born blind or eyeless? You can turn it to your advantage and become a "seer." Or get fucked become a scapegoat or a curse. Epileptic? Better accuse someone of giving you a demon, before they accuse you of being one. Inbreeding make your rulers dumb, parinoid, and OCD? Declare their ravings to be messages from god.

When there's no cure, we turn medicine into business or politics. So we shouldn't be surprised when every group of quacks in this country decides the Autism market is bullish. And whatever they want to destroy, should develop a "link" to Autism. Fast.

Hate vaccinations for hippie, or tinfoil-hat reasons? Link them relentlessly to Autism, no matter what they contain.

Want to ban all animal products? There's your cause of Autism, right there.
 

Ice Cream Mandrake? Children's ice cream?

Vaguely Christian activist? Hate fertility treatments and contraception? Late birth and IVF cause Autism.

Want to make a fortune off untested, piss-bottle medicine? You can cure Autism!

Want to forget Causation-Correlation, and get your grant work in the news cycle? Bad parenting and TV = Autism!

This is quackery with consequences.


SOUP?!!?

Say what you will about poisoning kids with iron enemas - or wasting research money that could find real treatments -, but attacking vaccination is not a game. If you leave some kids open to infection, you create mutation factories. You expose other kids at different stages of vaccination. It's like lighting one bush on fire in the middle of a forest. Only the fire is immune to water and the trees are made of infants.

So Autism claims drive me nuts, because they're a byword for bad faith. It's a cause so complicit with evil, that it can bring California hippies together with the Taliban, in a joint crusade to thwart doctors, because doctors are uppity and pretend like they know things. Here's hoping science can keep the word out, and further immunize us to dipshits.

God dammit CNN ...

~

Your "passive observer" voice is so lame, you're being used as a free marketing service.

I don't know who the fuck "Crazzy Eve" is, but if CNN weren't so Fail for broadcasting his guileless act, and his magic-of-the-internet bullshit, I'd want to stab him in the face.

As it is, my imaginary stabbing hand is busy.

CNN ...

I know I can look away. I know I don't have to care. But everyone links to you. You have such entrenched market share. And you're so BAD at what you do. And you're so lazy about the badness that it's like a style. Somewhere there is a CNN house style guide. It is written in red crayon.

1) Attention-getting image!

2) Live before anyone else.

3) Space filled with words of some kind. That's where ads go!

4) White women may be *raped* young people may do *drugs* pie and cotton may cause *cancer* fighter airplanes *blow stuff up* young people may be *raped* fighter airplanes may cause *autism* pie and cotton might *blow up*

5) Bar graph.

6) Typo.

7) Whippets: the silent scourge.

8) If Madonna stays out of court for even a week, this scroll bar thing is fucked.

9) Cholesterol: heartbreak's lubricant

10) TEEN SEX and how it can be prevented if you just talk to your kids about TEEN SEX then they'll understand how you're not mentally ready for them to grow pubic hair and CNN said their HOT FUMBLING TEEN SEX is your fault for not being a good enough parent to catch the SWEATY SHIRTLESS TEEN SEX before it made you ashamed.

11) Cinnamon: cancer's walking stick

12) More typos.

13) Nancy Grace flat out kills a bitch.

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