ditriech

Eccentricity is good.

No. Wait. Let me back up a bit.

Ten years ago Dutch, Bizzo, myself and a number of other miscreants were lucky enough to be placed in the same hall. This hall, named Norton Hall after David Z. Norton, a philanthropist from the great city of Cleveland, OH^sd, was the beginning of my growth into the person that I am today. Which, for the most part, I'm pretty happy with^sd2.

Before Norton, I was a completely shy, unadjusted, and overall really sad kid. I basically had (have?) no friends from high school outside of my now ex-girlfriend^sd3. No friends from middle or elementary school. None from my neighborhood, really. I just never fit in anywhere.

But fittingly on the day of my 18th birthday, that arbitrary day in which you become "a man^sd4" I started to grow up. Or, at least, found people who were accepting of my, well, eccentricity.

I can't put into words how big of a deal this was for me. Coming from an entire lifetime of not fitting in and being too different and unable to figure out how to achieve any semblance of normality, and moving on to a situation in which I was accepted damn near immediately did wonders for my psyche. Because of Norton, I am ditriech. Which, makes sense actually. Partially because I registered the (highly inventive) screenname ditriech on 8/29/01 with AIM. But mostly because my entire level of comfort of who and what ditriech and ditriech_actual are stems from meeting, knowing, and becoming friends with these extraordinary people.

That is to say they accepted my eccentricity. Mostly. Because some of the shit I do still fucks with Dutch. But thems the breaks.

But what's the point behind all of this? Well, on this day in 1859, one of the more eccentric American personalities in history, Emperor Joshua Norton I became emperor of these United States. Oh, and protector of Mexico.

I mean, I could get into how he deposed Congress, abolished both the Democratic and Republican parties and, most awesomely, banned the word "Frisco" over the years. But that's not the point of Emperor Norton I. Hell, there are probably homeless people throughout DC that have this shit done by 0900.

What is important about Emperor Norton I is that he was accepted. Norton dined for free--with his dogs--in the finest restaurants in the city. He was given balcony seats in theaters across San Francisco. But the best example of his acceptance occurred in 1867, when he was arrested on the grounds of insanity. Newspaper editorials were written decrying the incident and he was subsequently released, received a formal apology from the Chief of Police and was saluted by police on the streets. No one man should have all that power.

Especially one that doesn't fit in anywhere else.

So happy Emperor Norton Day from all of us here at Psi Upper Norton

So.

Apparently we're starting this again.

Well, apparently Dutch started writing again with this and as we all know, as Dutch goes, so goes the Norton^sd.

But I mean, it makes sense that we'd be writing again. I'm, again, working at a mall. I'm, again, hating life^sd2. And, again, I'm drinking heavily. Well, semi-heavily^sd3

But srsly.

The plan is for us to randomly, but more frequently, use this blog as an elaborate ways to make fun of each other and spark debate amongst each other. I'm probably going to write mostly about the maddening insanity^sd4 that is my life, television, and NASCAR.

The last one solely to piss Dutch off. And the first one will probably be done better, but a lot more, well, existential over here. And yes, probably there will be a shit ton of side/footnotes. This is for two reasons. a) because apparently, my mind does not live on the same plane as everyone else's b) a tribute to DFW, patron saint of Upper Norton and, naturally, cofabg.

So.

Here we go. Again.

Oh!

I have it on good authority that Advice Dog might answer questions again soon. You can ask him questions via email at advice.dog.at.psiuppernorton.com or on formspring.

There will soon be tumblr integretation for him too. So don't fret.

Hopefully the last shortened one. Picks after the break

Short, late post mostly because this week and next week pretty have/will blow for me.

First Rabbit Day coming week 3.

[22:18] ditriech: what is this. i dont even
[22:19] WhamBangThud: DEATH PICKLE
[22:19] ditriech: how did you know what i call it?
WhamBangThudsigned off from "gmail.DFFAA63A" at 22:22.

Welcome once again to my favorite weekly post, Always Bet with Black. And, as per usually, we kick things off with a picture from Britty.

"happy will kill you", by Britty

Ah. She's her brother's sister ain't she?

Anyhoo, for reasons known only to him, instead of the old format, young dits has decided to pick all of the bodog.com games. He insists that this will make it easier for you, the reader and consumer.

What he's doing is that he's showing you the spreads they have (pretty much the initial ones) and what he's betting on, using a gambling term known as "units". The units, typically, will vary week to week. But it's basically a confidence rating. That's really all you need to know.

We'll keep track of both his actual money picks and his total picks. Possibly even picks by conference.

Also: we have no idea if Random Numbers is coming back this year, because of the Dutchman being busy with actual things. But we do know that Rabbit Day will be back.

Because it is awesome.

Picks below the jump?

There are very few qualities about myself that I find interesting. Like at all. I find most of my life to be mind-numbingly boring. Mostly because I've lived it. I guess. Or something. Anyhoo, one of the few things that I do find interesting or "cool" about me is my memory. Like I pretty much actually remember everything that has happened to me while sober. Ok, not totally everything. But at least a good 70%. My sister seems to think that I have an Eidetic memory. Which I don't totally believe. But, hey, anything that compares me favorably with Matthew Gray Gubler I'll take.

Anyhoo, this may seem like a great thing. And for the most part, it is. It helps me at work. It helped me even more when I was in sales. Hell, it helps in remembering random stuff, like Wonderbear3000's love for Toto's "Africa". But for the most part, it's a burden.

For example. Let's say I was dating someone. You know, ever^sd. And I forget something. Like the anniversary of our first kiss. Or the first time we made out. Or something random like that. I'd get grief for it. And deservedly so. I'm the one running around telling random people I remember everything.

That's a kinda hypothetical stretch though. That would never happen.

Ok. Let's try this. What if your cousin, who was also one of your best friends died? Like unexpectedly? I mean, sure, most people would remember that. Maybe even most of them would remember the exact date. Or how they heard. Or where they were.

Me on the other hand, I remember all of that. I remember vividly. And I remember it every year on the day it happened as if it was happening all over again. August 20th, by far, is the worst day in my life. Well, it used to be at least. But I'll get back to that last point.

I didn't go to Ron's funeral. I was at school, it started like 3 days later^sd2. And I wasn't coming home for it. Because I prefer remember people like the last time I saw them. And if I went to the funeral, the last time I would've saw him would've been dead. And I don't want to remember him like that.

What I do remember most about Ron, if I had to pick out one specific time. One specific moment is listening to this song with him for like the first, or maybe 50th time. I don't know. I do remember that I just got back from a program at Kenyon like two weeks before, I had to actually go to school at Kenyon like 5 weeks later, and we were just hanging out, driving around the streets of Cleveland. We were listening to "We Are the Streets" and we were stopped outside some random friend of his', and this song came on. It was lightly raining, and for some reason, we started dancing. I remember for some reason someone brought up the line about the Air Force Ones with yellow checks.

It was a great day. Restropectively, one of the best times we spent together, actually.

Anyhoo, "Fuck You" by The LOX has, subsequently, become one of my favorite songs ever. Like to the point in which if I ever run for election, I want it to play when I win. Hell, the term "Fuck you" is probably my favorite thing to say ever. And I'm not sure if the two are connected.

But back to what I was saying earlier. I know that for a while this day and subject, and other days and subjects were days and subjects that I was horrible about. Like overly emotional and otherwise intolerable. But you see, today, 9 years later, I did a wonderfully good and probably stupid thing. And because of this a) I learned that on some things I just need to move on. and b) that I will not have any opportunity to have any fun ever outside of State games besides this blog.

I know I haven't been writing, or doing much of anything w/r/t cofabg, OMWD, "2160 Fulton" and "Attack of the Moving Bush". It seems as though I've been on a little break. Worrying about, you know, my personal life. Whether or not i should look for a new job. Breaks are good. It's not a bad idea to take a break every now and then. I mean, this isn't the easiest thing to do. Write something. Put some thing of yourself into something so public, so all can see. But it's probably something I need to do more often.

So I'm telling you like this. Break's over. I start getting more awesome on Monday. Or thereabouts.

Also: sorry about the youtube. Hopefully, I'll fix the grooveshark thing, and change this later.

Also: there might be some profanity in these lyrics. Just sayin'

Fuck You
The LOX
We are the Streets

Case in point, the past two posts and comments.

Today's BSOW, which I'm like 85% sure I've done before but am too lazy to check, is "Your Hand In Mine" by Explosions in the Sky. For two, very good reasons.

1) It is Frakking Awesome.

2) It is the beginning of "FNL" here in the Mind of a ditriech.

Ok. Let me explain the latter point.

I have a bunch of weird rules, traditions and shit that I do because I'm not normal. Like at all. Most of them revolve around football, predominately Ohio State football now.^sd. One of these traditions, that I'm pretty sure no one knew of before like now^sd2 is FNL.

It's simple enough really, Basically, starting with the first Friday of August (i.e. today) I watch FNL every Friday until the collegiate football season is over if at all humanely possible. This is, actually, quite normal for me so far. The insane part started about 2 or 3 years ago when I decided that just watching the movie wasn't enough. I had to make a drinking game out of it. This too, isn't all that odd. The worst part is that I made a drinking fantasy game.

That I play by myself.

For like 16 weeks.

Well, technically 15. The first week is like a preseason to get me used to drinking Miller Lite again.

...

At home that is^sd4

But yeah, in case you were wondering the rules go like this:

Points are only counted during the 30 minutes pregame before you are watching FNL^sd3, during the movie itself and for an hour after, but only if a) you don't immediately watch something else and b) you play at least three songs from the sdtk while drinking.

...

I know

Continuing: each 12 oz can/bottle of Miller Lite is 5 points.

Each 12 oz can/bottle of Miller High Life is worth 4.5 points

Each 12 oz can/bottle of MGD is worth 4 points

Each 12 oz can of The Beast is worth 3.5 points.

For each 24 oz you drink, you add 1 point to the score. For each 40 oz, 2 points. For each 22 oz, add 0.8 points.

Highest point total after The Game wins. Low man has to buy the high man a beer.

It's fun. I'll be updating throughout the year via twitter.

Explosions in the Sky
Your Hand in Mine
The Earth Is Not a Cold Dead Place/Friday Night Lights sdtk

ditriech: should i bring tang? 14:40
zero dutch: No 14:40
ditriech: buzzkill. 14:50
zero dutch: Weirdo 14:51