confessions

Today's BSOW, which I'm like 85% sure I've done before but am too lazy to check, is "Your Hand In Mine" by Explosions in the Sky. For two, very good reasons.

1) It is Frakking Awesome.

2) It is the beginning of "FNL" here in the Mind of a ditriech.

Ok. Let me explain the latter point.

I have a bunch of weird rules, traditions and shit that I do because I'm not normal. Like at all. Most of them revolve around football, predominately Ohio State football now.^sd. One of these traditions, that I'm pretty sure no one knew of before like now^sd2 is FNL.

It's simple enough really, Basically, starting with the first Friday of August (i.e. today) I watch FNL every Friday until the collegiate football season is over if at all humanely possible. This is, actually, quite normal for me so far. The insane part started about 2 or 3 years ago when I decided that just watching the movie wasn't enough. I had to make a drinking game out of it. This too, isn't all that odd. The worst part is that I made a drinking fantasy game.

That I play by myself.

For like 16 weeks.

Well, technically 15. The first week is like a preseason to get me used to drinking Miller Lite again.

...

At home that is^sd4

But yeah, in case you were wondering the rules go like this:

Points are only counted during the 30 minutes pregame before you are watching FNL^sd3, during the movie itself and for an hour after, but only if a) you don't immediately watch something else and b) you play at least three songs from the sdtk while drinking.

...

I know

Continuing: each 12 oz can/bottle of Miller Lite is 5 points.

Each 12 oz can/bottle of Miller High Life is worth 4.5 points

Each 12 oz can/bottle of MGD is worth 4 points

Each 12 oz can of The Beast is worth 3.5 points.

For each 24 oz you drink, you add 1 point to the score. For each 40 oz, 2 points. For each 22 oz, add 0.8 points.

Highest point total after The Game wins. Low man has to buy the high man a beer.

It's fun. I'll be updating throughout the year via twitter.

Explosions in the Sky
Your Hand in Mine
The Earth Is Not a Cold Dead Place/Friday Night Lights sdtk

I BLOG THIS FROM A LAND OF ICE AND SNOW BLISTERING FUCKING HEAT. I MEAN JESUS DC, WHAT THE FUCK.

Ahem. Sorry for that. Mostly.

Anyhoo, I really wanted to, you know, jump back into blogging today. Or something. But I had a minor problem of electricity loss^sd for the past week or so. Or exactly one week. I cant remember. It’s not like it’s been so hot the only way I was able to keep cool was by drinking beer or anything. No! Never!

ED NOTE: this week's BSOW is just turrable

I know I've gone on record before with this but I don't dance. Like at all^sd1. I just am too self-conscious^sd2 to even attempt to dance while sober and in front of other people. But it is important to this story. Obliquely, at least

Anyhoo, back in college, I had a crush on this girl who we'll call Serena^sd3. For like a while^sd4. In contrast to the rest of my crushes during this era^sd5, I rarely saw Serena. I mean, we had maybe a couple of classes together early, and of course in the dining halls every now and again. But she seemed like she was rarely around.

Fast Forward to 2005, after a series of (extremely unlikely events that led to me to hanging out at the Beta Acland semi-regularly^sd6. I was there one night during Senior week hanging out, and for some reason the conversation turned to Serena. It seemed as though everyone else there had the same general feeling about her: that she was comely, but unattainable. She just didn't--or wouldn't-- talk to anyone on campus. After a while, and with enormous amounts of liquid courage I^sd7 decided to go next door (which, conveniently, is where she lived) and talk to her. So we knocked on the door and her sister answered. Being that I was drunk (and that it was like 4 years ago now I don't remember what I talked with her about), I do remember that I told her who I was, and that I wanted to talk to Serena, who she said was upstairs asleep. Or something. I then told her about how I had a crush on Serena for like 3 years, yet was scared to tell her for numerous reasons^sd8. The primary one being that I was afraid she wouldn't remember me. After chatting for about 2 or 3 minutes, I turned to leave.

As I was walking back to the Acland, Serena said "I remember you Alan^sd9." So we talked for a while, I'm pretty sure I told her I had a crush on her then I left and went home or to drink more or something. Actually, the two aren't mutually exclusive. Anyhoo, the next night was "80s dance party night" and "Midnight Breakfast" . Seeing as I don't dance, I went for the breakfast option. Because bacon and hash browns are good at any time of day. But especially at like midnight. But, because I have a crippling addiction to 80s Power Pop^sd10 I went upstairs to listen for a while. And, because there wouldn't actually be a point in telling you this if it was otherwise, Serena was there. We look at each other. I went over to talk to her for a while (while, natch, this song was playing), and then I left to go play Kings.

Not the most exciting story in the world, I know, but it is the reason why this song is in my head every three months or so.

 

Take Me Home Tonight - Eddie Money (f. Ronnie Spector)

Eddie Money (f. Ronnie Spector)
Take Me Home Tonight
Can't Hold Back

 

No, this isn't to purposely piss off Bizzo and Dutch. Why would I do that?

I know they haven't posted in a while.

...

Sure. Whatever.

In all honesty, I love this song (it was an ADU Musical Interlude). And have listened to it [almost as much as] Nantes. Which makes me think I should let Los Confessioners (Spanish for "the confessiers) listen to it.

Or at least ridicule me for listening to it. You know, whatevs.

Today's holiday, no doubt being celebrated around the world by Confessions readers, always brings up strange memories for me.

No, not the memories of purple haze all in my eyes. Though those are good ones. Mostly. Except for the whole mongoose incident^sd1. Anyhoo, what I do think about, oddly enough, is the first (and to date only) visit to a strip club^sd2.

See, what happened was my cousin was working at Papa John's. He hadn't been working there too long and didn't really know anyone, or anything about anyone so when one of his coworkers told him that she was a stripper, of course he had to go see it.

Okay, that's technically not true. He had sorta known the girl through work, but if you are a single man and any co-worker, ever, tells you that she is a stripper, you have a bullshit detector (and/or a whole different type of detector) that tells you you need to check this story out. So, of course he did. And brought me.

Now, the first thing you need to know is that I'm vehemently against strip clubs^sd3. But, because he's mostly family and he wanted to see if this was true or not, I went. Now, what you need to know is that this stripper worked at the Rocks. And I ain't talkin' no Obama. As far as I know, Len Rocks has been shut down twice, with violations ranging from improper touching (of the strippers) and alcohol violations. So, by all rights, the Rocks shouldn't have even been open. But, thanks to the good people of the Cleveland Metropolitan Area, it was.

What I remember (which, of course, is the basis of this here story) is that at first I didn't want to go. Mostly because I don't see the point of them, but he wanted to go and he didn't want to go alone. So I went. The first thing that struck me was that they didn't really have a kitchen. Now, not that I need to eat while I'm watching women get naked. I just know from my past that it helps. Well, that and it helps get over the fact that I'm paying to watch women get naked^sd4. Then, I realized that I had to pay a 10 dollar cover charge in order to get in. That bothered me, but whatever. I was going to a strip club right?

Unfortunately, because of the problems that the Rocks had in the past, there was no liquor license to be had. So I was unable to drink. Which, as you should know by now, is a big part of my life. A big part. And so, I didn't drink. Which was to my detriment, because I was hating every agonizing minute. Mostly because it wasn't an actual "strip" club as much as it was an "underwear dance club that allowed the smoking of marijuana". Which wasn't at all what I was looking for. As we waited for the co-worker to dance on one of the many poles that were spread throughout the venue, two girls came up to us and asked if we wanted "lap dances". By the grace of God, one of them was the co-worker. But seeing as that it was my life, the other chick was a girl that graduated from high school about two years after I did (I was three years out at the time). Of course she was the one who a) recognized me and b) gave me a lap dance. After it was over and I paid & tipped her^sd5 she asked me if I wanted to go to her birthday party. I, of course because it was me and I suck at most aspects of life, declined. In hindsight, I regret that, because I could have dated a stripper and have one of those stories to tell my grandnieces and nephews. But I don't.

In case you were wondering what that had to do with 4/20, well, it was the day that we went. And we celebrated a lot earlier. And the fact that there was weed allowed in the Rocks, but not alcohol. That point always sticks in my craw.

---
^sd1: Not talking about it. (back)

^sd2: Strippers and strip clubs have been coming up quite a bit lately. (back)

^sd3: Seriously. Mostly because of the whole technical "touch" rules and the whole "taking home" issue. But lets just suffice to say that I don't frequent the booty clubs. (back)

^sd4: This is a big problem with me if you can't tell. (back)

^sd5: Well, because that's just the type of guy that I am. (back)

For whatever various reasons she had, one of my mother's favorite artists (well not maybe artists, but at least albums that she played to the point of me listening, memorizing and loving [in that order!]) was Christopher Cross. Though there is no real evidence to back me up, I'm pretty sure that that is how my brother got his first name. But that's not the point.

Been meaning to post this since Tuesday. The day I took Flight 4777 from Indianapolis to LaGuardia.

Well, the day I was supposed to.

I was listening to Fever Dog, and, as per usually, got nostalgic. I miss 2005. Such an awesome year.

I guess the last part of 2004 was pretty dope as well.

Anyhoo, here are my favorite Stillwater related convos on the EX^sd1.

---

(20:57:05) ditriech: a Stillwater cover band
(20:57:34) YoureAPatRice: ahhhhhhhh
(20:57:37) YoureAPatRice: nice
(20:57:40) YoureAPatRice: you totally should
(20:57:44) YoureAPatRice: get pete to play the guitar
(20:57:48) YoureAPatRice: and will can sing i guess
(20:57:51) ditriech: hahaha
(20:57:54) ditriech: yeah he can
(20:58:36) YoureAPatRice: ill be your tambourine groupie in the background that just wants to get laid but rocks pretty hard at the same time
(20:58:42) ditriech: haha
(20:58:42) YoureAPatRice: ....excuse me, ill be your band aid
---
(21:21:30) GrzaGenius: a Stillwater cover band?
(21:21:32) ditriech: yes
(21:21:43) GrzaGenius: who would be in this band?
(21:21:49) ditriech: ...well us
(21:22:04) GrzaGenius: in that case, no
(21:22:06) ditriech: and will. because we thought he was in Stillwater
(21:22:08) ditriech: fine.
(21:22:18) ditriech: kill my dreams
(21:22:18) GrzaGenius: what is this fascination with Stillwater
(21:22:26) ditriech: its funny
(21:22:33) GrzaGenius: ah
(21:22:38) GrzaGenius: you are crazy
(21:22:42) GrzaGenius: like crazy uh oh
(21:22:47) GrzaGenius: not crazy whoo hoo
---
(14:02:47) PcktBread: pssssst. because they arent a real band!

---

(14:02:47) ditriech <AUTO-REPLY>: How come no one has Stillwater as their favorite music on facebook

I mean, besides me

---

(14:03:02) ditriech: SO HOW DID I DOWNLOAD FEVER DOG?
(14:03:16) PcktBread: because theres someone out there as deranged as you.
(14:03:27) ditriech: two people
(14:05:15) PcktBread: you can start a club.
(14:05:25) ditriech: dont tempt me
(14:05:32) ditriech: im on facebook now
(14:05:48) PcktBread: oh jebus
(14:11:37) ditriech: the Stillwater fanatics are now here
(14:11:40) ditriech: awesome.
(14:12:04) PcktBread: oh man
(14:13:19) PcktBread: Im beginning to think you have too much power.
---
(21:10:31) YoureAPatRice: we should make 'running water' have a tribute to Skynyrd
(21:10:34) YoureAPatRice: in your honor
(21:10:35) ditriech: yeah
(21:10:41) ditriech: simple man
(21:10:52) YoureAPatRice: i love this song though, it always reminds me of the end of dazed and confused....
(21:11:05) YoureAPatRice: ...and therefore makes me think of the end of a huge party, and passing out in a bush
(21:11:20) YoureAPatRice: except that's never happened to me
(21:11:23) ditriech: it reminds me of this one time i got really drunk and wrote a rap to it on the bus home
(21:11:25) YoureAPatRice: i dunno who that could possibly happen to
(21:11:29) ditriech: me either
---
(05:03:24) LookABrownGirl: my eye itches
(05:03:34) ditriech: (scratches)
(05:03:42) ditriech: FEEEVER DOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGG
(05:03:52) ditriech: SCRATCHIN' AT MY BACK DOOOOR!
(05:03:52) LookABrownGirl: ...
(05:03:55) ditriech: ...
(05:04:04) ditriech: i take it you havent seen 'almost famous'
(05:04:44) LookABrownGirl: oh i have
(05:04:49) LookABrownGirl: but that was a weird weird thing there.
(05:06:33) LookABrownGirl: especially because you like screamed it
(05:06:46) ditriech: thats how russell sang it
(05:06:53) LookABrownGirl: you dont call him russell okay
(05:06:56) LookABrownGirl: you dont actually know him.
(05:07:00) LookABrownGirl: (shakes head)

---------------

Now playing: Stillwater - Fever Dog
via FoxyTunes

^sd1: I swear its coming back. Like seriously. (back)

I know that I said that I was going to write about the whole college football playoff thing. And I was, I promise. But I hit a minor bump in the road.

You see, mighty confessioner, I do most of my writing while on the metro bus/rail ride to work. Because, well, its where I write. But, then my good friend Ragged Company¹ left me a book. To be fair, I did ask him for this book, but still. The book was/is Oblivion by David Foster Wallace.

Confessioner, I love DFW. Like everything he writes. I read Infinite Jest like 11 times over the span of three or so months², and to a degree, a lot of my writing style is like his. Well, at least that's what Dutch says. And, actually, this post sorta proves.

But back on topic, I read that book instead of writing. For like the past two days now. So that's why I haven't finished the playoff post. I will though. I (sorta) promise.

So! Instead of that post I've decided to share with you the sadness and/or complete and total crap that (most) of "Searching for Eve" was going to be before I revamped the whole idea behind it.

Don't say I didn't warn you