Great Ideas

Welcome once again to my favorite weekly post, Always Bet with Black. And, as per usually, we kick things off with a picture from Britty.

"happy will kill you", by Britty

Ah. She's her brother's sister ain't she?

Anyhoo, for reasons known only to him, instead of the old format, young dits has decided to pick all of the bodog.com games. He insists that this will make it easier for you, the reader and consumer.

What he's doing is that he's showing you the spreads they have (pretty much the initial ones) and what he's betting on, using a gambling term known as "units". The units, typically, will vary week to week. But it's basically a confidence rating. That's really all you need to know.

We'll keep track of both his actual money picks and his total picks. Possibly even picks by conference.

Also: we have no idea if Random Numbers is coming back this year, because of the Dutchman being busy with actual things. But we do know that Rabbit Day will be back.

Because it is awesome.

Picks below the jump?

Today's BSOW, which I'm like 85% sure I've done before but am too lazy to check, is "Your Hand In Mine" by Explosions in the Sky. For two, very good reasons.

1) It is Frakking Awesome.

2) It is the beginning of "FNL" here in the Mind of a ditriech.

Ok. Let me explain the latter point.

I have a bunch of weird rules, traditions and shit that I do because I'm not normal. Like at all. Most of them revolve around football, predominately Ohio State football now.^sd. One of these traditions, that I'm pretty sure no one knew of before like now^sd2 is FNL.

It's simple enough really, Basically, starting with the first Friday of August (i.e. today) I watch FNL every Friday until the collegiate football season is over if at all humanely possible. This is, actually, quite normal for me so far. The insane part started about 2 or 3 years ago when I decided that just watching the movie wasn't enough. I had to make a drinking game out of it. This too, isn't all that odd. The worst part is that I made a drinking fantasy game.

That I play by myself.

For like 16 weeks.

Well, technically 15. The first week is like a preseason to get me used to drinking Miller Lite again.

...

At home that is^sd4

But yeah, in case you were wondering the rules go like this:

Points are only counted during the 30 minutes pregame before you are watching FNL^sd3, during the movie itself and for an hour after, but only if a) you don't immediately watch something else and b) you play at least three songs from the sdtk while drinking.

...

I know

Continuing: each 12 oz can/bottle of Miller Lite is 5 points.

Each 12 oz can/bottle of Miller High Life is worth 4.5 points

Each 12 oz can/bottle of MGD is worth 4 points

Each 12 oz can of The Beast is worth 3.5 points.

For each 24 oz you drink, you add 1 point to the score. For each 40 oz, 2 points. For each 22 oz, add 0.8 points.

Highest point total after The Game wins. Low man has to buy the high man a beer.

It's fun. I'll be updating throughout the year via twitter.

Explosions in the Sky
Your Hand in Mine
The Earth Is Not a Cold Dead Place/Friday Night Lights sdtk

I am good at very few things.^sd

One of those things is pontificating about things in which i have no real reason to pontificate on. Politics is (are?) one of those things. So, seeing as I have the forum and/or soapbox to do so, I might as well make use of it.

Anyhoo.

I was watching The Colbert Report^sd2 and some guy^sd3 was talking about California's new proposed law (initiative?) that makes partisan primaries, well, illegal. Basically, what would happen is that there would be an open primary and the top two vote getters would be in the actual election.

To be honest I’m not totally against this. Partially because of Colbert’s reaction. He says, basically, that this will create more elected moderates. Now, again, I’m not a guy who’s in the in on politics and who does what and how much senator x plays to the base and how much he plays to the corporations, but I don’t really see this as a bad idea. Like seriously. This is probably one of the better ideas I’ve seen come out of politics in a while.

Look, in most states/districts, the primary is laughable anyway. Like the OH-11 (where humble ditriech is from) has been solidly Dem since 1983 (the year young ditriech was born). And it’s not just there. The California 5th, the Michigan 15th and the Pennsylvania 2nd have been solid Democrat since 1949, 1933 (when the frakking district was created), and 1949 respectively. And the Louisiana 1st, Missouri 8th, Wyoming at large and the Tennessee 2nd have been Republican since 1977, 1981, 1979 (when former Vice President Dick “Go fuck yourself” Cheney was the rep) and 1867.

Seriously. Think about that last one. A non-Republican hasn’t won the Tennessee 2nd since the fucking Civil War for frak’s sake. What is the point of a partisan primary there?

And in the competitive states, the candidates that better represent their constituents interests, regardless of party, will typically be in the top two. So how is this bad? How is the fact that an elected official accurately represents where they come from a bad thing? Why can’t we do this a) in California, and b) everywhere?

Playing to extremists obviously isn't working. I mean, that’s what got us these Tea Partiers and the fact that they can actually change Republican primaries^sd4 to begin with isn't it? Let’s govern America by actual Americans with actual beliefs instead of a party line. At the very least, it would be shit tons more fun.

This is going to make the "Hot Coffee" minigame even better

...but we are also dorks, which is what makes this so awesome.

Stage 2 of the plan is to go back to what we do third-best^sd1: Recurring posts.

Granted, it should never reach the utter frackery that was the "You Tube of the Day", but still. We need a Jump Start. A reason for our non-existent readers to come back even. So, in an effort to put my money where my cofabg mouth is, this week I'll be unveiling the cofabg review section entitled "cofabg Reviews it All" this Friday^sd2. CRIA^sd3 will be done, by the third Friday of the Month^sd4.

cofabg Reviews it All will probably mainly be focused on bars, and those mostly in the DC area. Because, you know, it'll be me writing. And that's what I do. Go to bars in the DC area. Though books, movies, operas and the like are probably fair game too. We'll see what happens

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sd1: Well, some of what we do second best too I guess

sd2: Hopefully

sd3: See sd2

sd4: Because Thirds are awesome.

As of late, we haven't been writing much. During the months of November/December I attributed it to a couple of things. First and foremost we were pretty burnt out, you know mentally, due to the election and such. Also, because College Football is over. Because, let's face it, cofabg is a CFB/Politics blog with a drinking problem. Much like ditriech himself. But, with the New Year upon us and all the Change happening and such we need to rectify this situation.

After much consultation with the high command of the good ship cofabg^sd1, I have come up with a solution. We need blog-aides. And so, I came up with an all encompassing "better cofabg" plan, that I will be unveiling slowly but surely. Like a Turtle of the Ninja^sd2 variety. Unless, of course, the Hare in question is either Hokum Hare. Or Samari Lapin. Whatever.

Anyhoo, here's the first stage: The Blog Aide Programme.

The Confessions of a Beirut Game Committee on Blogging Behavior and Standards,

Alarmed by the lack of posts throughout the months of November and December,

Aware of the other time commitments that cofabgers have,

Observing that we need to get on the proverbial cofabg ball,

Noting with regret that no one will actually join the programme,

Further believing that actually writing this resolution is solid proof that ditriech has gone 'round the bend,

1) Creates the Blog Aide Programme (BAP) to facilitate the cofabg blogging process;

2) Designates ditriech as the Head of the BAP;

3) Reminds ditriech that the BAP is in no way shape or form to be used as his personal "hook-up bin";

4) Encourages the cofabgers who take advantage of the BAP to keep steak well stocked;

5) Resolves to remain actively seized of the matter.

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sd1: Basically, this means that I imed Zip and asked him if he thought it was a good idea. He said go for it.

sd2: Of who Donatello is still the best. Honestly. You Leonardo people have it all wrong.

Last year, I decided to come up with resolutions for 2008. Seeing as the year is almost over, I thought it would be a good idea to revisit some of these plans, and see how well I did.^sd1

1. Win more often
Let's just say that I completed this goal. Seeing as its pretty much a standing one for me, and if I lost more often than I won this year, then I'd just be sad and depressed and do something lame like read the Book instead of going out for NYE^sd2

2. Liveblog a movie while in the theater
Sad to say, I didn't liveblog anything this year. So complete failure on this and #9

3. Go another year without watching the samizdat
SUCCESS! Unless, of course, some random Nuck grabs me off the street and forces me to watch it tonight. We'll see!

4. Claim that "This is Sparta" as often as possible.
Yeah, the appeal of doing this for me ended about January 2^nd. I'm pretty sure Bizzo still does though.

5. Nickname someone Sloopy. Tell her to hang on as much as possible.
Sadly, I didn't do this. This is definitely going on the list for next year.

6. Go to NASCAR race. Do not get lynched.
I now live closer to a NASCAR track than ever before, and didn't even watch one race this year. One. Nor did I play the video game at all. I think I'm the only one who finds this sad. The whole me not going thing. Not my NASCAR fandom. Pretty much everyone I know finds that sad.

7. Find it necessary to do the Super Bowl Shuffle while at work at least twice.
See #4. Except w/r/t the Bizzo part. The only Super Bowl dances he knows go right. Wide Right even.

...

Thank God he's in Seattle right now. And not, you know, on the way to kill me. Not to say he isn't, just that it will take him much, much longer than if he were in NYC.

8. Restart the "Tuesday Night Drinking Club".
I totally did this. And, I know what you're saying "You only had like four meetings". This is wrong I personally went to 11 meetings of the WNDC. Not my fault if other people didn't show up for 6 of them. Or 5 of them. I'm not quite sure at this point in time.

9. Liveblog both the commute to work and home on the same day
See #2

10. Purchase St. Patrick's Day Tree. Watch as Hilarity ensues.
I wanted to do this, but couldn't find the perfect tree. Plus, my problems with the St. Patrick's Day Holiday and all.

11. Learn how to play tennis.
Granted, all I really want to do is learn how to is lob really well so that I can play Eschaton. Nevertheless, I still want to do this.

12. Write an entire craigslist ad without using the letter "e".
...

Man, if you people only knew how many CL ads I wrote before deleting/burning them. And one didn't have the letter 'E'. Honest.

13. Write more parody songs.
I did write one, "Lush". I love it. So, technically, I guess I did write more than I did in 2007.

14. Find PGOAT.
Scarily, I think that I've already done this. While at fucking Kenyon. More to come. Probably via 2160 and not cofabg. And, trust me, it's totally not what you think. Because I'm almost positive that I never, ever talked about this while sober. And like only once drunk. As opposed to, you know, everything else in college.

15. Find more weird things to Liveblog.
See #2

16. Give more leeway with Rule #2 than Rule #1

Hmm. Time to come out of the basement methinks.

17. Watch my back as I walk through the garden.
mo-zilla: it might help your street side that ive always considered you more of a stringer than an avon
mo-zilla: without the looks or height of course
mo-zilla: so as long as you dont make enemies with assassins and stick-up men you'll come out of this fine
ditriech: that's because you dont see me around non-nortonians really
ditriech: im definitely more an avon
mo-zilla: i just wanted to use assassin in a sentence
mo-zilla: assassin
mo-zilla: assasin?
mo-zilla: bollocks
ditriech: assassin
mo-zilla: mmm
mo-zilla: ass
mo-zilla: ass
mo-zilla: in
mo-zilla: brb

He never did come back.

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^sd1: The original resolution will be in italics, and commentary below. Where italics were used in the original resolution, they will be bolded. (back)

^sd2: I know that before I've stated that I hate NYE and St. Patrick's day for the same reasons: The fact that it's amateur night/day and unbecoming of a drinking professional such as myself, but that's not totally true. The more I thought about it the more I realized that I don't hate NYE, I just place it in the same category as birthdays (for myself that is). Why celebrate something that happens every year? And that everyone else is celebrating? Personally, I like celebrating weird things that no one else really does. Or just getting drunk on a Wednesday Night because I want to. Not because its a special day or anything. Also, it is really fucking amateur night out there and pretty much everyone acts like a fucktard. (back)