holiday

In what has become a yearly tradition^sd over here at cofabg, I bring you the song "America, Fuck Yeah" from Team America.

You keep being shiny America.

I tipped myself.

I actually, legally tipped myself.

It tingled.

I financed a Subaru this month. Because we here at COFABG love to stay topical.

So now this is happening.

I will quiz the Claut on this by New Years.

In honor of Independence Day, I bring you our unofficial national anthem.

You keep being shiny America. I’m getting drunk in about 50 minutes. And I’m well aware that its early in the morning. You can’t say you've been drinkin' all day unless you start in the morning.

~

I went to take a piss of my balcony a few minutes ago, and then I realized it was raining. Normally, this wouldn’t bother me. Then I saw the American flag waving across the street from a lamppost. It was left there by the city I live in; a hangover from Memorial Day.

America is remembering to celebrate its own achievements, but leaving the cleanup for a non-existent mother figure that will never come. Memorial Day makes me think of a line of dead people, not standing, but lying there like the next phase of an amusement park ride queue. Is there a greater end for them? The greatest dice roll in life is if there is an afterlife.

Are the soldiers we’re remembering raising glasses in the netherworld or experiencing what the living do under a clinical dose of morphine? If they aren’t in the former, then what point is there to serving one’s life up to a greater good? The man who doubts the necessity of the noble lie is hopeless and branded a bastard to his own children. While the greatest tragedy is the possibility of so many lives lost into a great abyss of absolute nothing, the greatest relief is that one may be a part of this tragedy and never know it.

My New Years resolutions, by ditriech^sd1:

1. Win more often
2. Liveblog a movie while in the theater
3. Go another year without watching the samizdat
4. Claim that "This is Sparta" as often as possible.
5. Nickname someone Sloopy. Tell her to hang on as much as possible.
6. Go to NASCAR race. Do not get lynched.
7. Find it necessary to do the Super Bowl Shuffle while at work at least twice.
8. Restart the "Tuesday Night Drinking Club"^sd2.
9. Liveblog both the commute to work and home on the same day
10. Purchase St. Patrick's Day Tree. Watch as Hilarity ensues.
11. Learn how to play tennis.
12. Write an entire craigslist ad without using the letter "e".
13. Write more parody songs.
14. Find PGOAT.
15. Find more weird things to Liveblog.
16. Give more leeway with Rule #2 than Rule #1
17. Watch my back as I walk through the garden.

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^sd1: These may all not be real resolutions. (back)

^sd2: Tagline: All we wanna do, is get real drunk. (back)

For many, stupid, reasons, I decided to liveblog me drinking this Christmas. This might be a repeating holiday occurrence