dfw

I swear I was looking up a variant form of anachronistic. It's the truth.

I think I'm getting really old before my time. At least that's the best explanation I can give for enjoying a joke from a usage manual.

Last year, I decided to come up with resolutions for 2008. Seeing as the year is almost over, I thought it would be a good idea to revisit some of these plans, and see how well I did.^sd1

1. Win more often
Let's just say that I completed this goal. Seeing as its pretty much a standing one for me, and if I lost more often than I won this year, then I'd just be sad and depressed and do something lame like read the Book instead of going out for NYE^sd2

2. Liveblog a movie while in the theater
Sad to say, I didn't liveblog anything this year. So complete failure on this and #9

3. Go another year without watching the samizdat
SUCCESS! Unless, of course, some random Nuck grabs me off the street and forces me to watch it tonight. We'll see!

4. Claim that "This is Sparta" as often as possible.
Yeah, the appeal of doing this for me ended about January 2^nd. I'm pretty sure Bizzo still does though.

5. Nickname someone Sloopy. Tell her to hang on as much as possible.
Sadly, I didn't do this. This is definitely going on the list for next year.

6. Go to NASCAR race. Do not get lynched.
I now live closer to a NASCAR track than ever before, and didn't even watch one race this year. One. Nor did I play the video game at all. I think I'm the only one who finds this sad. The whole me not going thing. Not my NASCAR fandom. Pretty much everyone I know finds that sad.

7. Find it necessary to do the Super Bowl Shuffle while at work at least twice.
See #4. Except w/r/t the Bizzo part. The only Super Bowl dances he knows go right. Wide Right even.

...

Thank God he's in Seattle right now. And not, you know, on the way to kill me. Not to say he isn't, just that it will take him much, much longer than if he were in NYC.

8. Restart the "Tuesday Night Drinking Club".
I totally did this. And, I know what you're saying "You only had like four meetings". This is wrong I personally went to 11 meetings of the WNDC. Not my fault if other people didn't show up for 6 of them. Or 5 of them. I'm not quite sure at this point in time.

9. Liveblog both the commute to work and home on the same day
See #2

10. Purchase St. Patrick's Day Tree. Watch as Hilarity ensues.
I wanted to do this, but couldn't find the perfect tree. Plus, my problems with the St. Patrick's Day Holiday and all.

11. Learn how to play tennis.
Granted, all I really want to do is learn how to is lob really well so that I can play Eschaton. Nevertheless, I still want to do this.

12. Write an entire craigslist ad without using the letter "e".
...

Man, if you people only knew how many CL ads I wrote before deleting/burning them. And one didn't have the letter 'E'. Honest.

13. Write more parody songs.
I did write one, "Lush". I love it. So, technically, I guess I did write more than I did in 2007.

14. Find PGOAT.
Scarily, I think that I've already done this. While at fucking Kenyon. More to come. Probably via 2160 and not cofabg. And, trust me, it's totally not what you think. Because I'm almost positive that I never, ever talked about this while sober. And like only once drunk. As opposed to, you know, everything else in college.

15. Find more weird things to Liveblog.
See #2

16. Give more leeway with Rule #2 than Rule #1

Hmm. Time to come out of the basement methinks.

17. Watch my back as I walk through the garden.
mo-zilla: it might help your street side that ive always considered you more of a stringer than an avon
mo-zilla: without the looks or height of course
mo-zilla: so as long as you dont make enemies with assassins and stick-up men you'll come out of this fine
ditriech: that's because you dont see me around non-nortonians really
ditriech: im definitely more an avon
mo-zilla: i just wanted to use assassin in a sentence
mo-zilla: assassin
mo-zilla: assasin?
mo-zilla: bollocks
ditriech: assassin
mo-zilla: mmm
mo-zilla: ass
mo-zilla: ass
mo-zilla: in
mo-zilla: brb

He never did come back.

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^sd1: The original resolution will be in italics, and commentary below. Where italics were used in the original resolution, they will be bolded. (back)

^sd2: I know that before I've stated that I hate NYE and St. Patrick's day for the same reasons: The fact that it's amateur night/day and unbecoming of a drinking professional such as myself, but that's not totally true. The more I thought about it the more I realized that I don't hate NYE, I just place it in the same category as birthdays (for myself that is). Why celebrate something that happens every year? And that everyone else is celebrating? Personally, I like celebrating weird things that no one else really does. Or just getting drunk on a Wednesday Night because I want to. Not because its a special day or anything. Also, it is really fucking amateur night out there and pretty much everyone acts like a fucktard. (back)

(23:48:52) raggedcompany: rough patch: dfw, and the osu loss
(23:49:01) ditriech: ..yeah. it really was, sadly^sd1
(23:49:13) ditriech: doing well. reading lots of DFW now
(23:52:02) raggedcompany: that's a surprise
(23:52:13) ditriech: indeed.
(23:52:31) ditriech: plus, there are probably more DFW tributes coming on cofabg. it was hard on us all.^sd2
(23:52:57) raggedcompany: did i ever tell about how i met him very briefly?
(23:53:01) ditriech: no
(23:53:22) raggedcompany: it was at commencement
(23:53:47) raggedcompany: i had to find a reason to be allowed to remain on campus for that senior week, so i got a job as a commencement worker
(23:53:58) raggedcompany: stuffed envelopes, gave directions to parents, etc.
(23:54:18) raggedcompany: if you remember, i also led the procession, carrying some flag
(23:54:31) ditriech: yes
(23:54:45) raggedcompany: i was dressed as i imagine altar boys dress
(23:55:31) raggedcompany: after the ceremony, i was milling around near the chapel on middle path, and DFW and Sergei Lobanov-Rostovsky walked by
(23:56:14) raggedcompany: i don't remember the exact exchange, but i said something like, "most commencement speeches are boring and kind of suck, but you really gave a good speech"
(23:56:46) raggedcompany: DFW's response was kind of odd: he seemed genuinely flattered, but also a little uncomfortable
(23:57:41) raggedcompany: he said something like--and this is a paraphrase but one that is as close to his exact words as i can remember--"um, thanks. i appreciate that. good job, um, carrying the flag."
(23:58:40) raggedcompany: it was like he felt it was too much for him to receive a compliment without giving one out, even in half-jest
(23:59:29) raggedcompany: i don't mean to make it out into some overly meaningful story, but it left me with the impression of somebody who both appreciated and was made very uncomfortable by praise
(23:59:39) raggedcompany: that's the whole story
(23:59:47) ditriech: ...
(23:59:54) ditriech: yeah, so you know I'm posting this right?
(9/22/2008 00:00:01) raggedcompany: i figured
(00:00:30) raggedcompany: it's weird, before last week, i had only ever read an article he wrote for the atlantic monthly
(00:00:51) raggedcompany: i just read an article he wrote for harpers on usage
(00:02:19) raggedcompany: though i haven't read much of his stuff, it made me really sad when i found out
(00:02:55) raggedcompany:i think my sadness had much more to do with the way he treated me when i met him

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*: Granted, I know that this should probably be staffed, and under most circumstances it would, but this is basically RC's story, so he gets the post. Besides, he hasn't written one yet.

sd1: Not sadly in a bad way mind you, more sadly because of the juxtaposition of the two. Actually, I don't really know how to explain it. Carry on.

sd2: Could be projecting, but I'd be willing to say that DFW was our collective favorite author. Like if you sat us all down and made us do a top ten list, that he would come out the aggregate favorite

RIP David Foster Wallace. May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

I don't know how to react to this. I still feel like it has to be some fucking awful joke. I feel like this can't be true. Whatever faith I have in grace and order tells me this shouldn't be true. My love for DFW is greater than my affection for any other author, and as I write this I am palpably impacted by how feeble a connection this bond may be. His word have literally shaped the way I conceptualize life. I am not being generous when I say that, had I never listened to him, I would be a much more shallow and sad human being. As a graduate student, I teach composition at a major research university, and I have recently centered my courses around the Commencement speech he gave to my graduating class at Kenyon in 2005. On that day he spoke about our ability to control what he refered to as "the default setting," and to approach the world as a place where each of us are not the only meaningful being in existense. That is to say, that with a little extra effort on each of our parts, we could realize that the people around us have lives that are fully realized and fully separate from us, and that with a little extra effort we could consider the people around us as reacting to their own lives, and not existing only in the form which they affect out own lives.

Which is to say, that even as his suicide this evening affects me painfully and potently, I am trying to concieve of this event in a way that does not anchor around my personal feelings of loss and confusion. I am heartbroken that he will never write another story or essay, and I am also heartbroken that he will not have the opportunity to impact others  with new ideas the same way he has impacted me. But I am also grieved that he felt his life had devolved to the point where he felt the only option was to end his own life. He taught me that I am in control of what I decide is worth thinking about, and I mourn that DFW arrived at a place where he felt he had lost that control. I do not know what he was thinking about in his last moments, but it seems that whatever it was, it did not bring him peace. I can only pray (something I rarely do) that his words demonstrate for many of us a philosophy that guides us in positively evaluating how we lead our own lives.

Thank you for what you have taught me. May you find the peace and clarity you seek.

Te occidere possunt sed te edere non possunt nefas est.

I know that I said that I was going to write about the whole college football playoff thing. And I was, I promise. But I hit a minor bump in the road.

You see, mighty confessioner, I do most of my writing while on the metro bus/rail ride to work. Because, well, its where I write. But, then my good friend Ragged Company¹ left me a book. To be fair, I did ask him for this book, but still. The book was/is Oblivion by David Foster Wallace.

Confessioner, I love DFW. Like everything he writes. I read Infinite Jest like 11 times over the span of three or so months², and to a degree, a lot of my writing style is like his. Well, at least that's what Dutch says. And, actually, this post sorta proves.

But back on topic, I read that book instead of writing. For like the past two days now. So that's why I haven't finished the playoff post. I will though. I (sorta) promise.

So! Instead of that post I've decided to share with you the sadness and/or complete and total crap that (most) of "Searching for Eve" was going to be before I revamped the whole idea behind it.

Don't say I didn't warn you

My New Years resolutions, by ditriech^sd1:

1. Win more often
2. Liveblog a movie while in the theater
3. Go another year without watching the samizdat
4. Claim that "This is Sparta" as often as possible.
5. Nickname someone Sloopy. Tell her to hang on as much as possible.
6. Go to NASCAR race. Do not get lynched.
7. Find it necessary to do the Super Bowl Shuffle while at work at least twice.
8. Restart the "Tuesday Night Drinking Club"^sd2.
9. Liveblog both the commute to work and home on the same day
10. Purchase St. Patrick's Day Tree. Watch as Hilarity ensues.
11. Learn how to play tennis.
12. Write an entire craigslist ad without using the letter "e".
13. Write more parody songs.
14. Find PGOAT.
15. Find more weird things to Liveblog.
16. Give more leeway with Rule #2 than Rule #1
17. Watch my back as I walk through the garden.

---
^sd1: These may all not be real resolutions. (back)

^sd2: Tagline: All we wanna do, is get real drunk. (back)

I know that I said that I was going to write about the whole college football playoff thing. And I was, I promise. But I hit a minor bump in the road.

You see, mighty confessioner, I do most of my writing while on the metro bus/rail ride to work. Because, well, its where I write. But, then my good friend Ragged Company¹ left me a book. To be fair, I did ask him for this book, but still. The book was/is Oblivion by David Foster Wallace.

Confessioner, I love DFW. Like everything he writes. I read Infinite Jest like 11 times over the span of three or so months², and to a degree, a lot of my writing style is like his. Well, at least that's what Dutch says. And, actually, this post sorta proves.

But back on topic, I read that book instead of writing. For like the past two days now. So that's why I haven't finished the playoff post. I will though. I (sorta) promise.

So! Instead of that post I've decided to share with you the sadness and/or complete and total crap that (most) of "Searching for Eve" was going to be before I revamped the whole idea behind it.

Don't say I didn't warn you