Awesomeness

[22:18] ditriech: what is this. i dont even
[22:19] WhamBangThud: DEATH PICKLE
[22:19] ditriech: how did you know what i call it?
WhamBangThudsigned off from "gmail.DFFAA63A" at 22:22.

Welcome once again to my favorite weekly post, Always Bet with Black. And, as per usually, we kick things off with a picture from Britty.

"happy will kill you", by Britty

Ah. She's her brother's sister ain't she?

Anyhoo, for reasons known only to him, instead of the old format, young dits has decided to pick all of the bodog.com games. He insists that this will make it easier for you, the reader and consumer.

What he's doing is that he's showing you the spreads they have (pretty much the initial ones) and what he's betting on, using a gambling term known as "units". The units, typically, will vary week to week. But it's basically a confidence rating. That's really all you need to know.

We'll keep track of both his actual money picks and his total picks. Possibly even picks by conference.

Also: we have no idea if Random Numbers is coming back this year, because of the Dutchman being busy with actual things. But we do know that Rabbit Day will be back.

Because it is awesome.

Picks below the jump?

Today's BSOW, which I'm like 85% sure I've done before but am too lazy to check, is "Your Hand In Mine" by Explosions in the Sky. For two, very good reasons.

1) It is Frakking Awesome.

2) It is the beginning of "FNL" here in the Mind of a ditriech.

Ok. Let me explain the latter point.

I have a bunch of weird rules, traditions and shit that I do because I'm not normal. Like at all. Most of them revolve around football, predominately Ohio State football now.^sd. One of these traditions, that I'm pretty sure no one knew of before like now^sd2 is FNL.

It's simple enough really, Basically, starting with the first Friday of August (i.e. today) I watch FNL every Friday until the collegiate football season is over if at all humanely possible. This is, actually, quite normal for me so far. The insane part started about 2 or 3 years ago when I decided that just watching the movie wasn't enough. I had to make a drinking game out of it. This too, isn't all that odd. The worst part is that I made a drinking fantasy game.

That I play by myself.

For like 16 weeks.

Well, technically 15. The first week is like a preseason to get me used to drinking Miller Lite again.

...

At home that is^sd4

But yeah, in case you were wondering the rules go like this:

Points are only counted during the 30 minutes pregame before you are watching FNL^sd3, during the movie itself and for an hour after, but only if a) you don't immediately watch something else and b) you play at least three songs from the sdtk while drinking.

...

I know

Continuing: each 12 oz can/bottle of Miller Lite is 5 points.

Each 12 oz can/bottle of Miller High Life is worth 4.5 points

Each 12 oz can/bottle of MGD is worth 4 points

Each 12 oz can of The Beast is worth 3.5 points.

For each 24 oz you drink, you add 1 point to the score. For each 40 oz, 2 points. For each 22 oz, add 0.8 points.

Highest point total after The Game wins. Low man has to buy the high man a beer.

It's fun. I'll be updating throughout the year via twitter.

Explosions in the Sky
Your Hand in Mine
The Earth Is Not a Cold Dead Place/Friday Night Lights sdtk

ditriech: should i bring tang? 14:40
zero dutch: No 14:40
ditriech: buzzkill. 14:50
zero dutch: Weirdo 14:51

Ok. So.

ksg just informed me that the wonderful website "facebook.com" is having a thing.

Wait, let me mostly explain that. They have a section in which you can beta test something for facebook.  Fuck if i know what it is. But, you have both an interesting question and answer to that question facebook might consider you! 

Or steal your info! Whatever!

Anyhoo, the link is here. And the contest is this: you the reader (writer) of cofabg will write a question and we the writers (readers) will answer it in our very own facebook beta test thing. You can either post a comment here, email to cofabg@gmail.com or you know im us. If you know our screennames. Which, i'm sure you do. Because the only people that read cofabg _also_ write for cofabg.

So let's go!

I BLOG THIS FROM A LAND OF ICE AND SNOW BLISTERING FUCKING HEAT. I MEAN JESUS DC, WHAT THE FUCK.

Ahem. Sorry for that. Mostly.

Anyhoo, I really wanted to, you know, jump back into blogging today. Or something. But I had a minor problem of electricity loss^sd for the past week or so. Or exactly one week. I cant remember. It’s not like it’s been so hot the only way I was able to keep cool was by drinking beer or anything. No! Never!

I am good at very few things.^sd

One of those things is pontificating about things in which i have no real reason to pontificate on. Politics is (are?) one of those things. So, seeing as I have the forum and/or soapbox to do so, I might as well make use of it.

Anyhoo.

I was watching The Colbert Report^sd2 and some guy^sd3 was talking about California's new proposed law (initiative?) that makes partisan primaries, well, illegal. Basically, what would happen is that there would be an open primary and the top two vote getters would be in the actual election.

To be honest I’m not totally against this. Partially because of Colbert’s reaction. He says, basically, that this will create more elected moderates. Now, again, I’m not a guy who’s in the in on politics and who does what and how much senator x plays to the base and how much he plays to the corporations, but I don’t really see this as a bad idea. Like seriously. This is probably one of the better ideas I’ve seen come out of politics in a while.

Look, in most states/districts, the primary is laughable anyway. Like the OH-11 (where humble ditriech is from) has been solidly Dem since 1983 (the year young ditriech was born). And it’s not just there. The California 5th, the Michigan 15th and the Pennsylvania 2nd have been solid Democrat since 1949, 1933 (when the frakking district was created), and 1949 respectively. And the Louisiana 1st, Missouri 8th, Wyoming at large and the Tennessee 2nd have been Republican since 1977, 1981, 1979 (when former Vice President Dick “Go fuck yourself” Cheney was the rep) and 1867.

Seriously. Think about that last one. A non-Republican hasn’t won the Tennessee 2nd since the fucking Civil War for frak’s sake. What is the point of a partisan primary there?

And in the competitive states, the candidates that better represent their constituents interests, regardless of party, will typically be in the top two. So how is this bad? How is the fact that an elected official accurately represents where they come from a bad thing? Why can’t we do this a) in California, and b) everywhere?

Playing to extremists obviously isn't working. I mean, that’s what got us these Tea Partiers and the fact that they can actually change Republican primaries^sd4 to begin with isn't it? Let’s govern America by actual Americans with actual beliefs instead of a party line. At the very least, it would be shit tons more fun.

Advice dog, for some reason, went on vacation without telling anyone. His inbox, obviously, filled up with all kinds of emails and such from people, asking him what they should do and how they should do it. You know, advice column stuff. Finally, and without any fanfare or notice I might add, he emails me with these answers to these questions. Hopefully, he keeps this up.

You ready for them Advice Dog?

Sounds about right. More from Advice dog after the jump

A little known fact is that Dutch, Bizzo and I (me?) send a lot of emails to each other. And by "we send a lot of emails to each other" I mean "I send a lot of emails to Dutch and Bizzo and Dutch responds."

....

Ok, that's not totally true. Dutch sends emails sometimes too. And Biz responds to 1/10^sd of them. But still. A lot of emails. Some of them turn into posts, some of them are us just pretty much saying things like "Jesus", "That's Awesome" and "Holy Shit."

This, my friends, fits into both categories.

I mean, I know I'm prone to hyperbole, but this is the Greatest YouTube Video ever. No. Seriously, It deserves the caps. It really is that good. I mean, we all agree about how awesome this one video is. And we never agree on anything. Except maybe drinking. And Zombies. And the Nortonic cause.

I digress Here:

I know it features "Sirius" by The Alan Parsons Project, which was first^sd2 featured prominently in the 90s Bulls campaigns^sd3. But still. It is the greatest thing you will ever watch on youtube ever.

You're Welcome.

Like BHGP^sd4 says:

Let's recap what just happened. The mascot did all of the following in rapid succession:

1. Appeared from a constellation (Ursa Major, to be precise, and folks, this is one major fucking Ursa)
2. Exploded in a blue nuclear shockwave that destroyed an entire planet that was probably full of nonbelievers
3. Flew around space to Kenny Loggins' classic "Highway to the Danger Zone," even though you're not supposed to be able to hear things in space
4. Acquired a cosmic hockey stick from who the fuck knows where
5. Made its own fucking wormhole for intergalactic travel
6. Growled at everybody and bared its teeth
7. Used said cosmic hockey stick to knock a satellite into another dimension for no discernable reason
8. Made our moon completely explode by flying very close to it and growling again extra hard
9. Came to Earth in order to flatten the entire city of Anchorage with its atomic bomb powers
10. Ran over 300 miles to Fairbanks in about 5 seconds instead of showing remorse over the genocide it just committed
11. Found the one building in the entire city with electricity and tore its roof off
12. Jumped into said arena and wrecked the playing surface the teams were hoping to use
13. Made Metallica's music play sheerly by force of will, and the good Metallica, none of this Whiskey in the Jaro[sic] shit
14. Went back into his own logo, which is now covered in exploding blue flames

Seriously, this video needs to be watch by everyone in America. It might even be able to solve the Health Care crisis^sd5. I know that I was sick before I watched it like 50 times, and now I feel better. Of course, that could be the vodka. You never know with me!

Watch it now. It made me like Alaska again.^sd6