Hockey Come Lately: the Round 2 Post

Since I've been busy with the election and wishing I had the money to drink some Green Label today, I never got to the games of the First Round. Ah well:

1) Detroit did not choke as badly as they could have, and neither did San Jose.

2) DC found their identity as a young, inspiring team who bring their fans ticklishy close to success and then drop them to the ground, crying.

Take a seat Washington. Take a seat for ten years, and we'll talk.

Ahem.

Western Conference

1) Detroit Red Wings v. Colorado Avalanche

Notes: You gotta be fuckin' kidding.

This series has the potential to be that violent, since neither team can put a player out to pasture. A ridiclous number of guys from the Northwest Wars of the 90s are still playing.

GEEZER FIGHT!!!

I Want: Blood.

Look, neither of these teams are getting out of this series, and then beating SJ or Dallas. So just put it all out there, leave your motor oil on the ice, and retire with more stories to tell.

Extra points if someone punches the squid.

Prediction: Red Wings, in 6.

1) San Jose Sharks v. Dallas Stars

Notes: Basics: Sharks - Fast, Offense. Stars - Physical, defense.

Beyond the Basics: This is the one to watch if you're interested in the Cup. Everyone has San Jose slated to win, and for good reason. But Dallas has been ridiclously sturdy all year, and can finally score. They eliminated the Ducks. They can outfight the Wings. If they win this round, immediate new favorites.

I Want: Dallas to sink into the Earth and explode. Or explode and sink into the earth. Satan's call.

Prediction: Sharks in 7.

Eastern Conference

1) Montreal Canadiens v. Philadelphia Flyers

Notes: Meh. This is actually an interesting matchup, but I can't feel much for either team. If Philly wins it will be because of pointless violence. If MTL wins, it will cause pointless violence.

Just mail me the body count later.

I Want: Danny Breire and Marty Biron off the news in those uniforms.

Prediction: Canadiens, in 6.

2) Pittsburgh Penguins v. New York Rangers

Notes: These are the two best offenses in the East, and the number of ways each has to score are mind-boggling. DET-COL will give you the fighting highlights, but all the sick goals will be scored here.

Except look for Georges Laraque to twist Sean Avery's head off like a snapple cap, and throw it to the crowd. For which he will recieve the Medal of Freedom.

I Want: Like everyone else on the planet, I want Pittsburgh to win the East.

Prediction: Rangers, in ... 6 ... 7 ... 6. Sorry.

Fleury and Conklin do not have my faith. Not agianst a team with 3 scoring lines in the playoffs. Not against Lunqvist in the other goal. Pittsburgh will put 3 in the net, and the Rangers will put in 4. Pittsburgh 2, Rangers 3. It will be infuriating. It will be very sad.

Sliiiii ... *kaff* ... ide

Game on.