Minority Report: Where are the Gorram Tulips!

Oh, there they are

Dutch golfer Tiger Woods captured his 67th victory this Sunday at the Memorial in Muirfield Village this Sunday*

Of note: This sentence by itself simultaneously fulfills the Ohio, Dutch, and sports monthly requirements of cofabg. So at least we got that going for us

While in a 4-way tie, the Dutch golfer birdied back to back holes (17th and 18th on a way to a one shot victory at the Memorial, his fourth. Jack Nicklaus^sd1, the former Ohio State golfer and host of the Memorial tournament said that the Dutch golfer will more than likely surpass his record of 18 major tournament victories. This statement, no doubt was well received in Holland, as they've been looking for a champion of their own for quite a while now.

The Dutch golfer had a 7 (seven) under par day on Sunday, coming up with back to back clutch birdies on the 17th and 18th holes to win by one stroke. This finish gave golfers around the world a momentary pause, as we are only two weeks away from a return to the US Open at Bethpage Black, which was the site of the Dutch golfer's notable win in 2002. Notable, mostly, because Tiger was the only golfer to shoot under par for the entire tournament. Also notable because of the....excitable New Yorkish sports^sd2 fans that showed up to support, heckle, and otherwise yell at the golfers attempting to play at the extremely difficult "Black" portion of the Bethpage State Park golf course. This tournament was also personally notable to cofabger ditriech, as it was the tournament that "solidified" his love for the sport of golf, becoming only the third time in his life that he could remember with accuracy what caused, or made him realize his love of a sport or team^sd3.

written by the cofabg staff (for primarily the enjoyment of Dutch) with help from these two fine intertube publications.

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sd1: Not the actor, the golfer.

sd2: And maybe even golf!

sd3: The other two were that guy hitting "The Shot" in 1987 and the work stoppage that happened around his 13th birthday. Love of and for the Browns and State Football were pretty much imprinted as a embryo. So pretty hard to remember.

images (modified natch) via here and here