staff's blog

Oh, there they are

Dutch golfer Tiger Woods captured his 67th victory this Sunday at the Memorial in Muirfield Village this Sunday*

Of note: This sentence by itself simultaneously fulfills the Ohio, Dutch, and sports monthly requirements of cofabg. So at least we got that going for us

While in a 4-way tie, the Dutch golfer birdied back to back holes (17th and 18th on a way to a one shot victory at the Memorial, his fourth. Jack Nicklaus^sd1, the former Ohio State golfer and host of the Memorial tournament said that the Dutch golfer will more than likely surpass his record of 18 major tournament victories. This statement, no doubt was well received in Holland, as they've been looking for a champion of their own for quite a while now.

The Dutch golfer had a 7 (seven) under par day on Sunday, coming up with back to back clutch birdies on the 17th and 18th holes to win by one stroke. This finish gave golfers around the world a momentary pause, as we are only two weeks away from a return to the US Open at Bethpage Black, which was the site of the Dutch golfer's notable win in 2002. Notable, mostly, because Tiger was the only golfer to shoot under par for the entire tournament. Also notable because of the....excitable New Yorkish sports^sd2 fans that showed up to support, heckle, and otherwise yell at the golfers attempting to play at the extremely difficult "Black" portion of the Bethpage State Park golf course. This tournament was also personally notable to cofabger ditriech, as it was the tournament that "solidified" his love for the sport of golf, becoming only the third time in his life that he could remember with accuracy what caused, or made him realize his love of a sport or team^sd3.

written by the cofabg staff (for primarily the enjoyment of Dutch) with help from these two fine intertube publications.

Yeah, so I updated the banner to reflect the election and all. I actually meant to do this yesterday, but slept a lot longer than previously expected. Sorry about that.

Also, there should be more site announcements soon. I say should, because I mostly suck at life.

ditriech

But right now, you aren't. Because ditriech is taking care of real life, rather than internet life.

But he wants me to tell you that he went 13-9 while the cylon Random Numbers went 7-15. Making him happy.

Signed,
not ditriech

ditriech will not be writing a rabbit day today, as he is supposed to, because he hates life right now.

We are sorry for any inconvenience.

But not really.

"Where there's a will" via Bizzo

According to Bizzo, he's outside Lebanon, IN. I, of course, asked him to play Beirut. As it was almost a necessity. And he sent this.

---

sd1: Truncating the Dutchman

Well this took about 15 minutes concept to creation

Seeing as it is a special day in Norton History, We’ve decided to take a bit from another, better known website and tell you a little bit about what Norton likes. This is the first post with the cofabg staff authorship because it was Bama’s idea, there was an email thread about it, and ditriech just polished it off. Mostly with pictures from his own private archives and whatnot.

So, without any further delay, the things we like.

1) Beer

Most of all, Nortonians & Nortonites love beer. Put water, barley, wheat grains, hops and happiness together and any Man of Norton will drink it and declare it fine. Or decent. Or good enough to get drunk by (Point of note: the official beer of Norton is Keystone Light or Milwaukee’s Best and the official beer of WNDC is Miller Light. cofabg doesn't have an official beer yet. Here's to hoping its Miller High Life. The Champizzle of Bizzles.). Beer is pretty much like a brother to us at this juncture. Like a nth member of the Nort-Tang Clan or something.

2) Violence.

Whether its hockey violence, or just ditriech running around telling everyone that he is going to cut them (Seriously. The D-Man doesn't love you until he's told you that he's going to cut you. Its what he does) we love violence. Preservation through destruction and all. Which explains why we destroyed our bar. And why Sock Wrestling is the second official sport in the Nort. Which brings us to...

3) Fight Club

GREATEST. MOVIE. EVAR.

Well, at least as far as the whole of Norton is concerned. Though some (ditriech) are far, far, far more obsessed with the whole idea of the movie/book, we all pretty much think that it is awesome. Case in point, for the majority of Norton parties, we had Fight Club playing in the background all the time.

4) Beirut

By and large the most popular sport/event/regular activity in all of Nortonia, Beirut is the greatest thing ever invented as far as we are concerned. Known as "Beer Pong" or "Pong" or "That stupid game the Norton guys always play with the balls", Beirut is the true sport of champions, winners, and Nortonians. And yes, in case you were wondering, I'm well aware of the fact that I just said three things that all mean the same thing. There is more about the official rules and such of 'Rut on the official Psi Upper Norton Site, but still. We love it. You should play it. And that is all. (Seriously, you think we named this site because we enjoy Lebanon?)

5) Reel Big Fish

Ok, so this one is pretty much the GrzaGenius’s fault. Why? Because he brought RBF to the whole of Nortonia and infected us with their infectious melodies and song lyrics. Now we all, for the most part, enjoy the dulcet tones of the band currently known as Reel Big Fish (I even have an autographed picture! ...I think). Not to take anything away from them, they are awesome and he was right. But still. Its something that started freshman year, and then permeated throughout the lands of Nortonia.

6) Kenyon College

Though some of us still harbor strong anti-K House feelings, the overall mood toward Kenyon is mostly nostalgia and happiness. And not Grant Lee Buffalo “Happiness”. Like real happiness. Because that is where we all met, and had most of our most awesome times to date. Though that has a lot to do with the fact that we no longer live in the same city, something we all lament. And the cops rejoice. Though we have no idea why (ed note: Drunk in Public tickets would go way up. That's all I'm sayin')

7) The Ohio State/Michigan Rivalry.

Nearly all of us have some sorta stance on this issue. Whether we were turned by a fellow Nortonian (One way or the other. We're good at that) or we grew up with our own personal animosities and beliefs that made us cultivate the rich hatred that we've held so long for each other.

...

As far as colleges go. We don't like actually "fight" or anything. Yet.

8) Making fun of LJ's female relatives.

Whether its sister, or aunt, or (at first) mother, we've developed a habit of droppin'  LJ's female relatives into every despicable act ever. We're sorry LJ. But not as sorry as your [female relative] was that I didn't do the swirl tonight!

9) Boobies.

Gibson and Miles. Both personal heroes of ours. We do love Boobies.

10) Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Most notably the episode "Space Conflict from Beyond Pluto. For numerous reasons.