April Awesomeness

It was so nice of us to toss Rocky a nickel like that. He's a great former champion, just down on his luck. Best wishes, Philly.

Now! Tomorrow night begins the Most Magical Time of the Year. Oh yeah, a Winter Wonderland.

Of course the Playoffs have two purposes in the world, and both should be recognized.

1) The Playoffs exist to confirm the Coronation that is Lindy Ruff's Right and Due. They provide a place for us to prove once and for all that 1999 and 2006 were taken from us only on account of Villainy. So the first question of any series is, "what is good for the Sabres?".

2) After this, the Playoffs exist to create great hockey. So the next question is, who deserves to win? Are they a club with a great legacy or style? There are many teams I would cheer on to finish #2-4 this year.

Lastly, there's that other question. The boring one people are forced to ask.

3) Who will win this game?

All three are at least some fun to consider. So without further, here's your First Round Bracket:

EAST

A. Buffalo Sabres v. NY Islanders
1),2),3) - All the best lines have been taken. The answer is the same for all three. And no one really doubts it.

NOTE: The one thing to say is that I wish Toronto had made it. A QEW Series would be a wonderful thing to see, and make for more interesting games as well. Also, such a series provides the fictional background for the one piece of evidence that Michael Moore's entire life hasn't been a flatulent waste. And that takes topping.

NOTE: If the above pick proves itself incorrect, my next, and last post, will be a play-by-play record of the experiment to determine how much whiskey actually kills me.

B. New Jersey Devils v. Tampa Bay Y'arrr!
1) I'm truly torn here. On the one hand, Jersey is a nail-biting team to play for Buffalo. Slow, closed, methodical, physical. They could really take a lot out of us that we'll need in the third round. Then again, it feels so much more like real hockey when you're not playing a team from a goddamn tropical zone. Still ... Go Tampa. They're satisfying to beat, too.

2) Tampa again. As much as I respect the Devils for their play, it's a Paul Newman choice. Take more risks, run more whole-rink play, and focus on skills. It's better hockey and they deserve credit for building a post-lockout game around it.

3) Jersey in Seven. Sadly. It's a deep team, and their response-attack has shown it's long-term value over series. At least I'll have some area fans to yell at in NY bars.

C. Atlanta Thrashers v. New York Rangers
1) NY all the way. A mature, tactical team that deserves better press than they've received. And I may actually get to see a game. And we can take them over a series.

2) See above.

3) Thrashers in six. Honestly, they can take Manhattan for the same reason we can. Lightning-fast offense meets a second-consideration defense. The games will be close, but I say Dixie.

D. Ottawa Senators v. Pittsburgh Penguins
1) Go Penguins. They're over-hyped, out of their depth, and taste delicious. I'd love to see them in Round 2.

2) TOUGH call. Do I love or hate Ottawa? Depends on the week. But mostly, it's a Cary Elwes / Inigo Montoya kind of hate. I don't know what we would do without our best frenemy to play with. And they're a brilliant team at all ends.

3) Ottawa in Five. Sadly, they'll get to use the barbecue before we get a chance. Please God let us not draw them Round 2.

WEST
A. Detroit Red Wings v. Calgary Flames

1) Go Red Wings. All the way to the final. That series would be fantastic.

2) The same. Detroit is a fantastic team with a two-way game and a fan base second to one in the U.S. -- we should see a squid or two before this is over.

3) That's a hat trick. Six games at most. A lot of commentators are doing the best to make this a "Cinderella" series or say what Calgary's great hidden talents are. They have solid play at both ends. Goaltending that maybe should have kept them above a #8 seed. But ... no. Should have got that higher draw guys. Against Dallas, you'd have something.

B. Anaheim No Longer Mighty Ducks v. Angry Northern Bears
1) I won't go so far as to hope the Wild ... win ... but gotta say, if they take six or seven games and play physical, I'll be happy. Compared to Detroit Anaheim has been ridiculously lucky on dodging injuries. They didn't even seem to be working hard the last 1/3 of the season. They need to be made to.

2) Anaheim. Minnesota's a growth story. This is a great showing for such a young franchise, and in 2-3 years we can see what it leads to. But there's not enough offense here, and not enough experience, to really contest Disney, who have the merit of having meticulously crafted the Ivan Drago of games: no flaws and spectacular hitting power. Re'spek.

3) Anaheim in 4-5. Though again, I'll enjoy it if they break a sweat.

C. Vancouver Canucks v. Dallas Devilseedspawn
1) Let's see, the hottest team from Hockey's Homeland, or the ... things ... who Mercenaried a region away its team, and then discovered how to win Stanley by spontaneous popular vote, rather than playing hockey?

"Run 'em."

2) Fortunately, Vancouver is also a prettier team. And a great fan story. If they can set their transition game against Dallas' pickoff, it's all in place.

3) Hosers in ... seven. Partially because that's a fair bet, and partially because I want Dallas to pay for their own Flight of Shame airfare.

D. Nashville Predators v. San Jose Sharks
1) San Jose. They are a lurking threat to the Big Two in the West, and if they make it ... well they play Buffalo's game. Just not as well. Perfect.

2) God sent this series to Earth because He loves us. It's by far the most exciting matchup this round. A team of perfect balance and an offensive counterpunch to make the audience pee, against a well-oiled turnover machine from the Coast, who seem to have almost re-invented the odd man rush. It is sure to be hard to call, brilliantly fast, and a goalie may actually suffer the groin pull that kills him. I'll say Nashville, because they've earned it more over the year.

3) Sharks in seven. I say their discipline carries the final. In a series, 2+ good lines and a power play are the best things you can have. Yes, better than Apollo Creed over there.

.

Let's Go.