Sans commentary this time around.

~

So speaking of streaky, and curses. Apparently, one "Sidney 'Lamar' Crosby" is a young man who is better than average at hockey.
 

Given that this is a Canadian sport to begin with, I don't know exactly how I'm going to work up a xenophobic rage at this kid, and demand "he" go back where he came from while "we" play hockey, but that's what $2 tall boys are for. Logic lube.

And then we have to put up with this mariachi band on a short yellow charter bus, who go by the name of the Ottawa Senators. Really. I mean the Capitals are a cop-out, but at least they don't call themselves the fucking Chancellors of the Hockey Exchequer. You sordid bag of thumb-biting dicks. Learn what the silly fucks in your government call themselves.

And please stop beating us at ice hockey.

Because it's our turn to burn some shit.

It's. Our. Turn.

GAAAAAHHHHHHH
 

And Texas continues to slide. Losing to Baylor isn't the end of the world, but losing three of four coming out of an undefeated start is disturbing. Kansas, on the other hand, is looking more and more like a dominant #1, Syracuse a solid #2, and everyone else is dying to play catch up.

(I had promised Nemo some documents)

Nemo: infolaunch?
Bizzo: Pending
Fueling the tube and dressing the flight crew.
Nemo: ummmm....
i don't think dressing the flight crew is part of normal launch procedure...
Bizzo: THEY INSISTED
They are a very lonely flight crew.
Nemo: even though they are plural
Bizzo: Must be Wes Anderson astronauts.
All alone in a room, together.
In space.
Nemo: you should look for a job with NASA!
Bizzo:  ...
"The fireball could be seen from Argentina."
Nemo: YES
 

I spend a lot of time alone.

Ok. This is one of those instances in which I think that I am not odd. That I am, in fact, like a lot of other people. But my problem is that I also spend a lot of time observing that I am alone. That’s key. Most people don’t think about it^sd But I do.

Anyhoo, while alone, I spend a lot of time doing things to occupy my time so that I don’t feel so alone. One of those things is writing^sd2. But the major one is watch TV.  Well TV shows. Or shows, that at one point, aired on the television channels that you know and love.

Let me backtrack for a minute. Because this post is, in fact, an example of an evolution. Or something. 

About two years ago The Dutchman introduced me to the brilliance of Firefly. Though he didn't know it at the time, this did three things. 1) Made me rewatch Buffy. 2) Turned me into a Joss fanboy 3) Gave me the idea to name my first daughter Inara.

...

Ok. He probably could have guessed #3. But that’s not the point. I became a Joss fanboy. Which heightened to a fever pitch around the time before Dollhouse started. Notice that I said before. Because when the series started I watched ever episode with antici

pation.

But it really wasn’t a good show. At least for a while. I mean, I recently rewatched the entirety of Dollhouse (during the hiatus) and most of the first season is comically bad.  I mean, its great to watch while you’re drinking^sd3. But other than that…the episodes don't work. Especially w/r/t the greatness that the show has become^sd4.

I know what your thinking right now. Well, you’re probably thinking two(ish) things. 1) wtf is ditriech doing writing?^sd5 and 2) what does this have to do with anything. This is the Beirut song of the weekend. Not the Beirut ditriech rambles on about tv shows of the weekend.

I assure you I’m getting to the latter point.

The reason why I^sd6 was excited about the new Whedon venture is the premise. The same as Firefly^sd7.  A western. But in space. Fucking awesome idea. Dollhouse’s is _even better_

Dollhouse premise: “Ok. So there are people who get their mind wiped. And can be whatever you need them to be. For a price.”

That’s a great premise. because when you hear it you think two major 1) if you can afford to pay for this what do you really need? 2) Is this nothing more than a really great brothel? because most guys just generally want sex.

Then you want to see what Joss does with it. Ok. That’s not technically true. I think that you’d want to see how any great show runner would deal with this^sd8. Because if you had this premise, you’d want to see how they’d reconcile these things.

Whatever the reason you’d first tune into this show as a casual fan, you’dve stopped watching quickly. The first 5 or 6 episodes were pretty bad. Ok, that’s an overstatement. The first 4 were bad, 5 is where it started to be a decent show. But, where it got great was 01x08.

The title of 01x08 is “Needs”. And it is, by far, my favorite episode of Dollhouse. In fact, it may be one of my favorite hour 42ish minutes of TV ever. And I’m going to tell you why^sd9.

Needs completes a mini arch in which the Dolls are glitching. Meaning, that something in their former lives, generally, was messing up them being a doll. Like it was infiltrating the “imprints” or personalities that they were assigned to do for a particular, uh, shift.

It’s really hard doing this show without spoilers. Especially this ep. And I'm going to spoiler something after this here jump. But it’s worth it.

Anyhoo, theses glitches convince the dollhouse upper management to allow certain dolls to fulfill their needs.

To be honest, when I first watched this episode, it didn’t really register. But when I watched it a second time^sd10 I noticed what this episode was doing. Ok, well, to be honest, I guess that all the episodes were kinda doing this. But this one was the most overt.

“Needs” is showing us that even if you completely, and I mean completely, wipe someone’s mind, there are some things we don't lose. Ever. These are the things that make us human^sd11. Well, not just human. These needs make us who we are. Not us as in a group of people. But us as individuals.

What I mean is that even if my mind was wiped, my doll version would probably still show a predilection toward the internet and drinking. It’s part of who I am at my core. And that’s what this show was about. It is about who we are as people individually. And what, if anything, can take that away from us.

The song that plays during the climax of this episode is “Lonely Ghosts” by “O+S”. And, is hauntingly beautiful. Also: this week’s BSOW. I mean, I would go on about how this song is pretty much perfect and all. But I’ve gone on enough about Dollhouse. So just listen and draw your own conclusions.

O+S
Lonely Ghosts
O+S

----

sd: but I bet you do now!

sd2: Something that will become more evident over the next moth or so. Probably.

sd3: Not that I do much without drinking. Well work. Most of the time. I think. I don’t know. I’m pretty drunk most of the time.

sd4: Seriously, one of the best TV shows I’ve watched in very long time the last 5 or so eps. Which is why I now think all sci fi shows need an end date

sd5: And why can’t he do more? Ok, fine. You twisted my arm. I’ll write about TV now too. Happy?

sd6: Seriously one of the best show’s I’ve ever watched. And if you’ve never seen it we probably shouldn’t be friends. Or we should, so I can show you how awesome it is. Something.

sd7: see sd4

sd8: To be honest, I didn’t know what a show runner was/did until Dutch introduced me to Firefly. But I really want to see what someone like JJ Abrams or Shawn Ryan could have done with this premise. Not that I think it would be better. But because I enjoy other things they’ve done and it would make me happy.

sd9: what? you thought I wasn't?

sd10: I’ve noticed that I typically watch everything twice. At least. Which is totally new and different for me, because I rarely watch things more than once.

sd11: Which, honestly, is what the show is about. What is human? How are we humans alike? And what makes us different? It, actually, should probably been seen as a counterpart to BSG.
 

So much for Texas. Of course, losses to two likely tournament-bound teams is not the end of the universe, especially considering the rest of their resume, but it's an unceremonious enough week to at least temporarily hypothesize that they will not be taking one of those precious number one seeds to the promised land come March. Ranks two through five rise up, though you could argue Duke saved face like crazy; following a road loss they probably should have with likely their best win so far this season at Clemson was all that kept them in the top 4.

This is not the kind of irony you want in your life.
 

To recap. 1997:
 

2009: 
 

I don't know what else to say, except Jesus.

~

My sacrelige is feeble.  

Coded references to New Testament Bible passages about Jesus Christ are inscribed on high-powered rifle sights provided to the U.S. military by a Michigan company ... 

One of the citations on the gun sights, 2COR4:6, is an apparent reference to Second Corinthians 4:6, which reads: "For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

Don't get me wrong here. Flak jackets I could understand. Are army chaplains truly Constitutional? Worry about something else. Even to irreligious people, faith is something you can understand in a war. If I had to jump out of a plane, even not into combat, I'd probably cross myself.

"Light of the World" references on assault rifles are different.

The idea that Christians should wage war specifically to kill, to make the world more open for Jesus, is anathema to this country. And how many of these weapons have shot kids or the owner's friends by mistake? How pointlessly cruel is that blessing? Yet these are central beliefs of all the wrong people right now.

This sort of thing will make me an old lesbian.
 

Tom Waits - "Day After Tomorrow" video from Anti Records on Vimeo.

This week is sacrilicious.

2009 reminded us that towers can be built on sand, financed with positive thoughts, and still look great while they stand upright. Success is proof of concept, until it is not. People who have their shit so together it's unbelievable, should probably not be believed.

A lot of happy things are going down in the NHL. How likely are they to last? 

~

In Which We Win A Lot

Take a good hard look at this motherfucking chart.

In the last month, we have beaten Chicago, the #1 team in the league. We have beaten Pittsburgh, the defending champs. We broke two team curses by beating Atlanta for the first time in two years and St. Louis for the first time in eleven (!). We win on consecutive nights. We win 1-0. We win 5-2. We win on the road and we win dramatically at home. Buffalo is just walking up and down the street, smacking bitches.

Most importantly, for the first time in years, we're winning without Ryan Miller in net.

You can sit this one out. It's cool.

No really. We've been cycling through backup goalies every year, writing off games where we have to rest Miller. His greatness, plus the fact that he works in the odd Buffalo system (play as a 3rd defenseman, handle the puck, forget shutouts), made him irreplaceable. "Irreplaceable" is a bad word in hockey.
 

We're gonna need another Timmy.

Patrick Lalime. The 35 year old perpetual backup, on his way out of the sport. Not the guy you suddenly expect to grow a 3rd testicle in December, and start collecting shutouts. Not the guy who would say, be brought in to replace Miller, shut down the Penguins, and backstop the team to a 4-goal comeback. Not that guy until now.

Awesome. But if you watch the team, you see familiar seams in the armor. Yeah it's fun to go down 2-0 and 3-0 and make thrilling comebacks, but why do we bother taking it to the face for half the game? Why is the #2 team in the East outshot in the first period? Why does our 6 Million Dollar Import go whole weeks without scoring? 

Take any team that's made it to the final recently, and describe them with 10 adjectives. You know what word you won't find on that list? "Snuffleupagus."

Also, "streaky."

We're streaky. And everyone knows it.
 

A Bad Good Stat

Still, "streaky" might be better than "headless." Check out that #1 Chicago team again. They get better every year. Fast, young guys up front, violent old guys in the back, and lost Buffalo treasure Brian Campbell showing everyone how full-team rushes and power plays work.

Soupy Come Home! 

Plus, they have the best goal horn of all time. Whenever Chicago scores, there's a brief siren that fades into the chorus of Chelsea Dagger. The entire stadium dances. It's the greatest scoring incentive since money.

ESPN trumpets this week that Chicago has the "league-lowest shots against." Which is good. They have an aggressive d and fast forwards and solve problems in the neutral zone. But ...

They have no goaltender.

Yeah. Since the 'Bulin Wall departed northward, they've cycled in both their goalies as starters, and been satisfied with neither. There have been a whole mess of games like last week's against Anaheim, where 3 weak goals trickle in, but the Hawks make up for it by scoring 6.

This is a playoff disaster waiting to happen. When you have to take shots from a good team over and over in a series, a soft net will kill you. So in retrospect, that Shots Against stat might be an "A" in Baseball Philosophy of Gender. Great kid, but you still can't read.

And you look like a penis in a little hat.

Moving on.
 

We Outlasted Seal!

Yes it's true. The NHL Winter Classic makes more money each year. It has fights, overtime, BCS-level ratings, air force flyovers, and Denis Leary yelling "Sweet Caroline" at hockey fans during a snowstorm.

The whitest thing to happen. Ever.

And you know what, NBC is finally showing its hockey contract respect. It stopped following the Ice Bowl with eye-rolling holiday filler like Seal on Ice. They lined up some new programming, and following the Classic, fans can enjoy:
 

...

I hate everything.
 

Give My Kids More Ice TIme

The Olympic Roster is out! Hockey Jesus is starting, of course. In front of him ... half the human beings living in Central Michigan and Upstate New York.

Which begs the goddamn question: no (Syracuse) Tim Connolly? No (Detroit) Mike Grier? My favorite two players, from the #2 team, who play with your starting goaltender? There was no room for these fine motherfuckers? 

I would bitch about this more, but first, neither will get hurt in Vancouver, and both will rest for the playoff run. Second, let's line any group of mammals up against the Canadian list of Crosby, Heatley, Iginla, Toews, Neidermeyer, Pronger, Brodeur, Morrow ...

I just wet 'em again.

So! Lindy Ruff is coming back with a gold medal and new sunglasses, and my favorite line will get a month to write best-selling guides to waxing your scalp and sneaking past defenders.

Failure: it could be worse.
 

Legs, and the Biting Thereof.

Detroit can no longer play hockey, as it has no hockey players.

This follows on my prediction two years ago, that the only way to victory was to put them down like feral zombies of the ice. This team has had a great run, playing the AARP Swedish All-Stars in what was pretty much a conspiracy to dodge the salary cap. But you can only put so many brilliant, brittle pelvises on the ice before fortuna gives you a good rogering.

Ubermench Niklas Lidstrom and the AHL callups will do their best. Even in the face of hilarious defeat, no one expects any less.
 

Solid hip check.

Keep bleeding! 

The big story this week is Purdue crapping out and dropping three in a row. I was perfectly content a week ago to give them the loss to Wisconsin, as no one goes undefeated. Ohio State's a quality team as well (and they crack the top 25 this week; beating the two best teams in your conference sort of demands that), but Northwestern lies in the dregs of the Big Ten and that loss (and current trend) are more than enough to drop them from first to third (bordering on fourth) seed.